“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” – Abraham Maslow
Some moments define our story. Some moments forever alter our path.
This moment was one of those times.
And it felt like magic.
Backstory
If you can imagine an excited, ambitious girl ready to take on the world … that was me. I had more dreams than I could count.
I was about seven months into my latest and greatest adventure–marriage–while simultaneously attending college at Brigham Young University – Idaho.
I was studying Communication, and my husband, JJ, was studying Mechanical Engineering.
I dreamt of:
- Traveling the world
- Finding adventure
- Helping those around me
- Discovering my true passion
But I wanted to do it all with my sweetheart by my side.
One of the most important details in understanding this story, however, is this: I was on a constant search to find God’s plan for my life and follow it.
I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
At the very core of who I am is a deeply rooted belief that we are all sons and daughters of a loving God. I believe He cares enough about each one of us to lead and guide us on this crazy journey.
I turn to Him in prayer for everything; my relationship with Him means everything.
Which leads me to our magical moment in July of 2015.
Let’s Go to the Temple | July 2015
On a beautiful, summer day in July, JJ and I decided to go to the Rexburg Idaho Temple and attend an Endowment Session.
(For more information on Latter-day Saint Temples & Endowments, click here)
This sacred moment was 4.5 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday.
There I was, watching an instructional video about the creation of the world, when the Spirit taps me on the shoulder, as if to say, “Pay attention.”
I sit up in my seat a little bit.
Uh oh. What’s coming next? I thought.
Just then, Adam and Eve are given a commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth.”
I suddenly feel the Spirit pierce my soul. My heart grew increasingly warm. Tears began to well-up in my eyes as the following words came to my mind:
Now is the time to start your family.
The feeling I had next was overpowering, and I felt the Holy Ghost confirm these words in my heart.
As these intense feelings began to fade, my mind began to race with thoughts of worry.
But… but… I just got married!
I have so many things I need to do first!
What about school, career, traveling to Europe?!
Was I even cut out to be a mother?
And yet, the unmistakable impression I received could not be shaken. It felt as though I could concentrate on nothing else for the duration of my time inside those sacred walls.
The Conversation
Leaving the temple that day (and feeling more than a little reluctant to share my news), I searched for ways to casually bring it up to JJ.
Nonchalantly, I asked, “So… umm… did you have any impressions come to you today?”
This isn’t an unusual question for me to ask, as members of the Church believe that the Spirit, or the Holy Ghost, can speak to our minds & hearts the things God wants us to hear. Especially within the walls of the temple.
A little hesitantly, JJ replied, “Yeah, I did.”
Whether it was the tone of his voice, my own suspicion, or my keen sense of discernment, in that instant, I knew we had the same impression.
I just knew that he knew what I knew. You know? I could feel it.
“I already know what you’re going to say, so just say it,” I insisted.
“No, you say it first!” he pleaded.
We were both smiling.
In the end, I won the battle of who is most stubborn.
“I felt prompted that we should try to have kids,” he said.
Boom.
There it was, out in the open, frolicking to and fro.
Were we really going to have kids?!?!
I was nervous, scared, terrified, overwhelmed … but also a tad bit excited.
Later that day, we had an honest and tender conversation of the reality of what we both experienced. We expressed our worries and concerns, but ultimately, we each expressed a desire to follow God’s plan for us.
Even if that meant postponing our own desires and dreams for the moment.
We felt peace. We knew it was right. We decided to trust Him.
Moving Forward
There is a song that has followed me around throughout my 20s. It always manages to catch me at just the right moment. God puts it on my playlist exactly when I need to hear it. It goes like this:
It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me.
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.
I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
Over mountain or plain or sea;
I’ll say what you want me to say, dear Lord;
I’ll be what you want me to be.
This song accurately depicts how I felt in this moment. Perhaps you can relate.
- He had just called me to a path I knew nothing about.
- It was NOT the path I had planned for myself.
- The future seemed very unclear.
But I was willing to go … and so was JJ.
Little did we know what lie in store. Little did we know the grand journey we were about to embark on.
In that moment, taking His hand, I knew we’d be OK. I knew He would take care of us.
“Trust in God and believe in good things to come.” – Jeffrey R. Holland
But how could she have? It was my best kept secret.
Winging It 